It’s hard to watch your child/teen struggle, it can happen in school for many reasons and can have lasting effects, as well as repercussions. It is important to identify and catch them as soon as possible and help your child/teen work through them. Being proactive is the best approach when it comes to your child’s mental health.
Is your child/teen acting out in class or showing signs of defiance towards their teacher or authority figure? Are they not turning in their homework or not working up to their potential? These are not uncommon. There are many causes and reasons your child/teen can be displaying these behaviors; the best course of action is to talk to them, see if there is something bothering them or causing these behaviors. If this doesn’t help bring a resolution, speak to the teacher, they will appreciate that you are being proactive and want to work with them towards a resolution.
Sometimes the answers are not clear, the reason for the behaviors are not understood. Is this something that just started happening out of the blue or has it been escalating? It could be that your child is feeling overwhelmed with the work in school and doesn’t know how to tell you that it is too challenging, or maybe they are not being stimulated enough and they are bored. You first want to make sure that these behaviors don’t have something to do with an underlying learning issue. Sometimes kids with undiagnosed learning problems become so frustrated that they lash out or melt down. Sometimes they act out to avoid having to finish something difficult, or to get out of a class or activity that’s particularly hard for them. We have also seen when a child is really smart (brilliant), acting out in class, they get bored, they don’t understand why things need to be repeated so much, etc., so they end up suffering in silence as well.
It would be great to talk their teachers about implementing some kind of coordinated earnings system contingent on your child’s behavior in school (keeping this separate from the home setting). Focus on only a couple of specific behaviors you would like to see improvement on, turning in homework assignments, etc. Focus on allowing your child to earn privileges and extras when they are exhibiting the positive pro-social skills. Ask teachers for feedback on how well they are doing these behaviors throughout the day in school. Each success earns points towards some kind privilege that is meaningful, whether it’s time on the computer or something else that all parties agree on. Also, don’t take away points for misbehavior; stay focused on the positive behaviors. With this kind of system in place, you will get a good idea what’s going on every day and your child will be motivated to improve the behavior in school. The frequent communication with his teachers, will show them that you’re actively trying to do something about the behavior. They’re likely to be a lot more understanding and take some of the pressure off you to “fix” them and be more proactive as well. If earning things isn’t a motivating factor, then natural consequences will occur.
Call us at Cameron Pediatric Counseling to have an assessment done, we are licensed mental health professionals, who could assess your child’s behavior, consult with their teachers, and can assist them with providing the necessary tools to manage their emotions in the school setting. We work closely with the dean of students, the principal, guidance counselors and their teachers to coordinate what is the best course for your child. We will help guide you through ways to help improve at home, and things you can implement over the summer to continue the improvement so that when the new school year begins, you start off in a good place.
