When you are asked to do something what is a typical response? “I am sorry, I don’t have time”. It is a go to response for almost everything, especially something we don’t want to do. Most people think they don’t have time, but you do. It is just a matter of whether you feel something is a priority and will make time for it. Every week we plan what we are going to do (to a point) and know there are other things we need to and want to get done.
You have been thinking about taking up a new hobby, you want to train for a 5k run, and realize that you might need to put in 5-10 hours a week to do it. Now imagine it’s Sunday night and your basement floods, now you have to spend time dealing with it even though you had not planned on it. You will probably end up spending 9-10 hours this week dealing with clean-up, hiring and watching over contractors, etc. Now this isn’t something you planned to make time for, but you did. I challenge you to keep track of your time for a week, see what you are actually spending your time on. There are 168 hours in a week, that’s every week! If you get a solid 8 hours of sleep each night that leaves 112 hours, then let’s take out 55 hours for work and your commute. This leaves us with 57 hours left for the week. This is a lot of time for other activities.
The key to time management is treating your priorities as the equivalent of your flooded basement. Everyone has priorities, you need to identify what yours are and schedule them in. I typically plan my week on Friday afternoon the week before. I realized a long time ago that everything I do and every minute I spend doing something is my choice (I may not always like the choice, but it is my choice). I didn’t want to go grocery shopping yesterday, but I chose to do it. It is a necessary evil. To balance that I also was able to get in a 7-minute meditation session between clients. I had that 7 minutes, so I chose to use it on me time. I break my week into 3 main categories – work, relationships (this is EVERYONE, my husband, my kids, my friends, etc), and self.
Time is a commodity, you can’t make more time, but time is highly elastic. It can stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it. We have the power to fill our lives with what we want to be there. Meditation is important to me, it falls into my “self” category, so I choose to make it a priority and ensure that I fit it into my day. Your priorities for each of your 3 main categories need to be put into your schedule first, then you will see what time you have left and choose what you want to fill it. Something to keep in mind is that you have to be willing to change how your priorities fit into your schedule.
For over 6 years I would work out in the mornings. As my kids grew up my time in the morning wasn’t as elastic as it once was. I needed to move my workout time to a different time of the day. It wasn’t an easy change, it threw me off in many ways, one day I forgot my water, another I forgot the combination to my lock, (mind you it didn’t change because I moved times, it was the same combination), I just was frazzled because I felt off. It took me some time to get into a good groove with it, (I even forgot to put conditioner in my hair!). I had become complacent with my old schedule and by changing one thing I was doing to a different time in my day, I was unsettled. You just need to stick with it if it is a priority and you will work through the struggle and in the end it will truly speak to your priorities.
We all have priority filled lives and I don’t want to minimize anyone’s struggles. I am just trying to show you that where there is a will there is a way. Sometimes we do things without thinking about them and how much of a time suck they actually are, like picking up your phone for a minute to respond to a text message and then 45 minutes later you are still on your phone and realize you never responded to that text message. Once you start paying attention to the little things and add up the time you spend on them you will realize that maybe you do have time, you just didn’t make something a priority. There are ways around almost anything.
You have a busy week with sports, homework, work projects, concerts, and the list goes on, you realize that you won’t have 1 single night where everyone can have dinner together. How about breakfast, can everyone get up 10 minutes earlier to sit down as a family and have breakfast together? Small moments can be powerful and can make lasting memories. See where you have a hole in your schedules and figure out where the good stuff can go.
If you are unsure of where to start or want to talk about it, give us a call here at Cameron Pediatric Counseling, we’d be happy to help you and your family get on the path to setting your priorities and gaining control of your free time.
