Suicide has a stigma surrounding it, but the silence needs to stop. The most powerful tool we have as a society in preventing suicide in our youths is talking about it. Getting it out in the open and showing care and compassion towards those contemplating it. Many people fear that talking about suicide is a trigger, that it will encourage their child to attempt it. There is no doubt, this is a very difficult subject to talk about, however it is one that needs to be discussed openly, as it is not going to go away.
As parents, we need to feel empowered and bring the subject up with our children. Suicide is real, it happens every day and we can’t just sweep the subject under the rug or hide our heads in the sand. It won’t make it go away, as much as we may want it to. Suicide doesn’t discriminate against race, religion, or social stature; it can affect anyone at any time and we need to raise awareness and raise the level of conversations that are happening to help those that are in pain and in need of help.
How do we bring up suicide to our kids?
Unfortunately, suicide and suicidal ideation is prevalent and affects children and teens of all ages. When speaking with children, we need to be mindful of the wording we use; if they don’t understand the words we use, they may not speak openly or we may be putting ideas into their heads that they didn’t have before. As scary as that is, we know. Our kids talk to each other and learn from one another, however sometimes they are afraid to ask each other what something means. We don’t want to give them ideas they didn’t have before, this is why questions are good. Please don’t assume they know what something is, like cutting. Keep them innocent as long as possible! If we find that our children have a good understanding of what suicide is, please don’t let that scare you.
Now, to address the elephant in the room, how do you bring it up? It isn’t easy, is it? It is a scary topic to bring up with your child or teen and we may be thinking that we might make them mad at us. Wouldn’t we rather have them mad at us than not have them there? We know, that is a little blunt, but this is not a topic to take lightly, so sometimes we need to be blunt. When we start the conversation, we avoid accusing them of anything, remembering this is a conversation. Talk openly and honestly and find out what they know and what they are thinking.
Let your child or teen know that suicide is never the answer, there is hope and help. Some of that help may be in the form of speaking with an objective person such as a licensed mental health counselor. If your gut is telling you that your child is actively contemplating suicide, call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room. Seek immediate help. This is the best solution to get your child the help they need immediately. If your instinct is telling you this is a crisis moment, act in the moment. Don’t worry about what may happen after, get them the help they need right now.
We need to let our children and teenagers know we hear them and are here for them. We take every life seriously and here at Cameron Pediatric Counseling we want you to know we are here to support yours and your child’s desire to feel better. Those who are contemplating taking their own lives typically do not want to die, they want to live without feeling overwhelmed by physical or emotional pain.
