Does your child/teen always seem to be on their phone or electronics? Consumed with social media? Looking to social media for their self-worth? Withdrawn, not communicating with you? It may be a sign of something else, it may be that your child is being bullied.
There are many signs that may indicate that your child is being bullied. It is imperative to recognize these signs and help take quick action against bullying. Not all children will ask for help. It is up to us as parents to help identify the warning signs. Kids don’t always ask for help. There are many reasons why your child may not tell you they are being bullied.
- Your child/teen may feel helpless, they can feel that being a “snitch” may make them appear to be weak
- Your child may need to feel in control, and want to handle the situation on their own
- Your child may fear backlash from their bully
- Kids who are being bullied often feel isolated, and fear that no one cares or could understand what is happening to them
- Being bullied is humiliating, they may fear being judged or fear punishment from an adult for being bullied
- Not all bullies are other children, sometimes it can be a teacher or other adult, and your child may feel that you won’t believe them
- Acting out behavior that is unusual for them (you may ask yourself “where did my happy-go-lucky kid go?”)
- They seem to be withdrawing or isolating themselves (spending a lot more time in their room than usual)
Signs your child may be being bullied:
- Unexplainable injuries or missing property
- Loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
- Difficulty sleeping or nightmares
- Changes in eating habits (skipping meals or binge eating)
- Frequent headaches, stomach aches, suddenly “faking” illness
- Declining grades or loss of interest in school and other activities
- Self-destructive behaviors (harming themselves, running away from home, talk or signs of suicide intentions)
- Blames themselves for problems; feels “they are not good enough”
- Definite change in mood or personality (sullen, withdrawn, evasive, or lonely)
What can you do? Ask subtle questions, I’ve saw so and so’s parents talking on Facebook about their son/daughter being bullied at school, is this going on at your school? Are there any kids at school who you really don’t like? Why don’t you like them? Do they ever pick on you or leave you out of things? If you don’t get answers, don’t be afraid to ask your child direct questions, specific to their behavior. If their eating habits have changed, ask if they have been eating lunch, has something changed with the food at school? Have they been hurt, ask if someone did it to them, was it on purpose? Watch how your child reacts to the questions. Silence is powerful, often it will be your child’s lack of response or body language that will clue you in to the real answers.
If you suspect bullying and your child won’t talk to you, seek the help of a licensed mental health professional, they may give your child the outlet they need to talk about what is going on, sometimes your child/teen needs a third party who is not involved with the situation to speak to openly. Sometimes as parents, it may be difficult to remove ourselves from the situation because we can’t always be objective. We at Cameron Pediatrics Counseling can be that objective voice and will give you tips and tools to help your child/teen feel better.
